July 30, 2017

I don’t normally take life advice from TV commercials, but a few months ago, a line from one really resonated with me. It said something to the effect of, “the only truly scarce resource is time”. I think this hit home for me because it perfectly articulates a feeling that I’ve had for a while about living life based on your values. We only get as much time on this planet as we get (and no one knows exactly how much time that is) so why does it seem like we value so many things more than we value our time? Take money for instance.

Financial advisers are always telling us to stay within our budgets. Which sounds great, but what if staying on that budget means that you aren’t going to get to do all things you have wanted to do in your life? I just don’t think I can accept that. That you won’t get to eat exotic foods, or travel, or show your children some of the amazing things in the world? If you stay on that budget, doesn’t that mean that you value your money above anything else? It seems to me that in that case, the money becomes the master, and you its servant. If everyone had enough money, and it just needed to be properly allocated, then it wouldn’t be an issue but lets face it, financially, the deck is stacked against most of us. Wages haven’t risen as much as our costs to live. For example, housing and medical costs have skyrocketed in the last 20 years and our paychecks have just not kept pace. So knowing that you may only get one life to live, are we really supposed to buy this line about living life debt free? I mean, wouldn’t you rather be in debt when you die, than having not done something while you were alive? I just don’t get why more people don’t just say “fuck it” and do whatever they want no matter what the cost. If the game is rigged, then stop playing. Seems logical to me. What am I missing?

 

July 18, 2017

At Henry’s guitar lesson this afternoon, I saw the chatty, unfortunate mom from last week. She is always attempting to attend guitar class with the teens. She enters like she’s just another pupil. The teacher has learned her tricks and now asks the moms to wait in the lobby before class starts. I don’t know if she’s just a clingy mom or she’s hoping she too can learn the guitar under the guise of being in class for her daughter. Not to be sexist but you never see dads trying to sneak in to class. They seem to have more easily accepted their role as chauffeur. Not friend, not partner, just the driver.

I really prefer the Tuesday class to the Monday one. The Monday class runs concurrent with the little kids ukulele class. I can hear the bearded, overly enthusiastic instructor playing and singing silly songs for them in his cartoony voice perfectly clearly, from the lobby. This group was part of last semester’s recital so I know these little kids don’t actually play the ukulele. They just strum one chord, or stare into space with the instrument in their laps while he belts out “Over the Rainbow” and “Wonderful World” over them. At first I found him, and the class, charming but now it just annoys me. I much prefer the aging, jaded, rock guy teachers. Enthusiasm is so exhausting, even one other people.

I was fiddling for something in my purse today and something yellow rubbed on to my hand and now I’m seeing yellow spots everywhere. I rubbed it off with an alcohol pad from my purse but it still seems to be spreading, leaving urine colored fingerprints in its path. I still don’t know what this mystery substance is as there is nothing yellow in my purse.

July 16, 2017

It’s been a busy weekend. On Friday night, John and I went to see Jack Johnson at Fiddler’s Green. At dinner before the show, we ran into a good friend’s ex-husband and his current wife. It was a bit of a scandal as he knew the current wife in high school and was married very quickly after the divorce from my friend was final. This was the first time anyone in our group has seen him since the split. I stealthly took a picture of him with my cell phone in the restaurant and sent it to the ladies via text.

At the concert, I waited in line for 45 minutes for a drink, which I paid $14 for. When the show started, everyone in my section stood up, even though we’d all paid extra for reserved seats. Since I’m just a hair over 5 feet tall, I couldn’t see the stage, even on the jumbo tron so I just sat down. I proceeded to watch all the people in front of me whip out their cell phones cameras in order to savor the moment forever, and nine times out of 10, they were just filming the images displayed on the jumbo tron. Other than the fact that I got a super cute t-shirt, I think I would have been better off staying home and listening to all his albums on shuffle. Jack sounded great and his band, especially the keyboard dude, is really talented, but seeing artists in huge venues has lost it’s luster.

Today we went to a BBQ at a friend of my husband’s house. Everyone was making fun of the house next door which had been torn down and re-erected as a Tuscan mansion. “It looks like the Olive Garden”, someone said. It’s so ridiculous that people want to live in new houses that are faux painted to look like crumbling old-world castles. My friend Katie was there and she spotted one of her elementary school students. He had apparently told her that his dad was a famous wrestler who was always on tour, which she believed. We both agreed after seeing the dad that that was a lie.

The new season of Game of Thrones started tonight. It was great as usual and too short, also as usual. My mind was blown by the white walker giants tromping across a frozen field with the rest of the army.

July 11

Last night I told John not to wake me up when he leaves in the morning. Just for the summer, I said. And I asked him to take the dog out before he left. I also told him he didn’t need to make me the tea he usually makes in the morning, which I thought would be a relief. This did not sit well with him though and he’s been jostling between the silent treatment and stomping around, ranting about unrelated topics every since. We are laying in the dark, him reading, me typing, in complete silence.

Today while Henry was in his guitar lesson and I was waiting for him in the lobby, two of the other moms started up a conversation next to me. Actually it was more like one of the moms took the other one hostage and held her by forced conversation. It went on for the entire 50 minutes, even after the nice one tried very politely to get away by saying she had to send some emails. The odd one, wearing a tye-dye t-shirt and a backpack filled to the gills, loudly told everyone within ear shot about the details of her life. It turns out that she is “visually inconvenienced” so she can use all the low cost bus and cab transportation to get she and her daughter around town. The daughter was diagnosed as autistic in 6th grade and as dyslexic in kindergartner. Her own visual impairment began 12 hours after birth when her visual cortex became starved for some reason. I guess this is the part where I feel bad for them and count my blessings but the truth is that I spent the first half of their conversation wishing the woman would just shut up so I could read in peace, and the second half transfixed by the horror of it all.

On the way home Henry pointed out a handwritten sign on a telephone pole that read “College Hunks (303) xxx-xxxx”. We laughed.

 

July 13, 2017

Gavin came in to our room yesterday evening and asked me to come get a spider that was in the living room. I had told him he could sleep on the couch, which for some reason loves to do. I told him I’d be up in a few. When I got up there five minutes later I found him hysterically crying and wandering around the kitchen. Apparently, the spider had weaved its way down and landed on Gavin’s pillow sending him into a full-fledged panic. I told him to go sleep in his own bed tonight and I went up to see about the spider. He was no where to be found. So I grabbed the pillow and brought it back down to Gavin’s bed. He wouldn’t touch it until I had changed the pillowcase, which I did. I assume that the presence of the cat made on his bed m feel safe enough to go to sleep, because when Henry came down and hour later Gavin was sacked out next to the cat.

My husband doesn’t understand why our kids are so afraid of spiders, but I kind of get it. When I was little I saw a show on TV about how insects are all around us, all the time. They climb on our eyelashes, and they live in our mattresses, sustaining themselves on our discarded skin flakes. I was at my dad’s house when I saw the show and that evening I did not want to get into bed. I swear I could feel the bugs crawling all over me and I began to itch. These aren’t bed bugs, mind you, these are just the mites that live on mattresses. I went to my dad, who thought I was being ridiculous and told me to go back to bed. “Good night. Sleep tight. Don’t let the bed bugs bite”, he said.